Decisions, decisions, decisions....
As my previous posts have alluded to, i have been dating a girl for a few months now. Nothing too serious, and we have yet to adopt the boyfriend/girlfriend thing (ok, *i* have yet to adopt it). Im really not sure where to go at this point.
She is a really wonderful girl. She is caring, and goes out of her way to make sure i am happy, and smiling. She does sweet things all the time, and is always genuinely happy to see me, or be with me. She seems to enjoy my company no matter what we do, be it going out to dinner, seeing a band play that she has never heard of, going out with mutual friends, or just sitting on the couch watching a movie.
So what is my problem?
I guess it goes back to when i was talking about chemistry. I dont feel that "spark" like i keep thinking i should. Add to the fact that im not sure we have a super big conversational chemistry and it makes me doubt what im doing. Another issue seems to be... Hm, how do i put this? She seems to have stronger feelings for me than i have for her. Im not sure how i know that, but i can kinda just feel it. I am never quite as excited to see her as she is to see me. I never seem to miss her as much as she misses me. Often when i kiss her goodnight, she has a hard time stopping and leaving, where as i am fine with ending it and saying goodnight.
As i feel things out more, i wonder if what i am doing is the right thing or the wrong thing. Is it a good thing to give it time and give her a chance that i may develop feelings as strong as she has? Or is it a bad thing to keep her around, enjoying how wonderful she is to me when i know (at least at this moment) i am unable to turn around and give her back exactly what she gives me?
posted by Patrick at 3:55 PM
3 Comments:
Dude, stop thinking so much about feelings. If she is good for you, then you have to choose to care. Men don't "Feel" the way women do.
Start doing little things for her to make her know you care, and you will see how the spark will come. Emotions and feelings come after the decision and the choice to care about someone, not before.
Us men can be such losers with women. Don't make the mistake of letting a good one go--specially if she likes you. Stop wating for fate to bring the perfect woman to you, and take it in your own hands. Good relationships are what we make of it, and the choices we make, not the result of random fate.
Good luck.
1:36 PM
Guys, thanks so much to both of you for commenting (and Josue, thanks for reading in the first place!).
I think what i worry about, is if there are core things that i need out of a relationship that arent being met, am i eventually going to look for them elsewhere? I hope that doesnt sound weak of me, but i am a man who knows my limitations.
Still, i have been trying lately to go with the flow and not think so much about everything. I helped her move into her new place this week and we have been spending our evenings together. It's still far from perfect, and i still have my doubts, but im gonna try and shove my analysis aside for a bit.
7:40 PM
listen. there are things lacking in my relationship--every person lacks things in their realtionships. that does not mean you go out and look for them somewhere else!!! no realtionship is perfect and has everything. you just have to find the happiness in what is there and knwo that is enough to keep you happy indefinetly.
9:46 PM
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