The Crossroads

Something needs to change and is going to change. I can feel it inside. I walk around in the day knowing that I am watching this part of my life fade out, wondering what will replace it. I go to bed at night wondering how much more will have faded while i slept. I thought this phase of my life was going to last forever, and certainly made decisions that showed that belief. Now...

If i walk away does it cheapen my love? Does it make my promises meaningless?

I know i did all i can up until this point. I don't look back with any regrets. I gave of myself, finally gave of myself without holding back, and I'm glad i did. I thought i did it because we were meant to be. Maybe i did it so i would be able to give like needed when i *did* meet the one.

My heart is still mourning. I don't want to say goodbye, i don't want to make the decisions to end this. Aren't i suppose to be fighting?

I don't think i can fight anymore. Not for this. I don't even think the person I'm fighting for wants me fighting. I will always fight for love. I will always work for love. I will always sacrifice for love. I wont however, fight *against* love, and i don't think i would be doing anything but that if i keep fighting.

So i look in my hands. I wonder how much of myself is left. I tried to give. Give enough to make something last. Make something breathe and survive. Now my hands are empty and it's hard to see myself the same way.

I don't know what is left of me.

What is left of my dreams?

I have to move forward.

For weeks i have tethered my heart. Chained it to a stake in the ground. Vowed to use all my energy to protect it's place. Now i need to find the strength to pull that stake out of the ground. I know it will come out with the slightest tug. It may even slip out of the ground on it's own if i just stop pushing.

And still, i struggle to find the strength for this simple task.

I need a new heart, this one is...

*Broken*