Overwhelmed, Undeserving, Overjoyed

This Christmas was truly one of overwhelming emotions. I've never considered myself someone disconnected from the meaning and experience of family, but this year I have the pleasure of learning about it like it was a brand new experience for me. Watching my niece and nephew get brought into this world, seeing them grow and learn, and getting to be a part of their lives has been an eye opening, and heart opening, experience for me. Truly, they bless my lives on a daily basis. Sharing a Christmas with them was wonderful. Seeing my niece especially take joy in small things, little gifts, and people who love her was incredible. Next year I'll get to see her brother go through it all a bit himself. Can't wait...

Also in the area of overwhelming emotions was meeting someone who connected to me on such a deep level, it's hard for me to believe. I'm no stranger to relationships, or to meeting new people. I'm even not that big of a stranger of quick connections to people on occasion, but this.... is different. This is amazing to me because some of the connections that are already there are the kind that i have spent months, even years, in previous relationships trying to cultivate with little success. Here i find these connections attached seamlessly and tightly, as if they were not trying to connect, but some long long parts that were disconnected and finally back together.

I do not know what i did to deserve finding a woman like this, but i hope to treat her with the respect, attention, and love that she most definitely deserves.

And I'll cross my fingers that she will care for the man inside even after seeing all my rougher edges.

The Christmas wasn't all good as we were forced to see a great musical flame extinguished and say goodbye to Vic Chesnutt. My prayers are with his family and loved ones. I know they must have seen a lot by his side. Hopefully all the music he left behind will continue to bring them comfort. The duality of holidays forces us to both take joy in the blessings we have, and remember those we care about that we cannot touch.