Freaking Out

So my buddy calls me today as im driving home from work. He's a co-worker of mine and we hang out outside of work, but he doesnt usually call me so i was a little concerned. Sure enough there was reason. Apparently he's about 99% sure he's getting canned from our job tomorrow. He was placed on administrative leave today and they said they would call tomorrow to let him know the status of his job.

And what they are firing him for is nothing. The kind of thing they could fire anyone for if they really wanted to. A one time mistake with no history of making previous mistakes.

And now i think.

I dont live my life live a guy who could get fired tomorrow. Im already earmarking February's profit sharing for a down payment on my next car. My savings is zero as ive been putting the extra $$$ on my higher interst stuff to push down my debt, or worse yet, just spending it. What would i do if the same thing happened to me tomorrow?

So now my heart is racing, and i just cant relax. Im gonna watch a movie in a bit, but this is just weighing on me. I feel like going to bed now so i can get to work by 6am, work til 7pm and make sure ive dotted every "i" and crossed every "t".

Prior to the last few years a job was of little importance to me. It was a means to an end, and something i always walked away from as soon as the schedule said i could leave. I quickly realised that i was on the cusp of 30 and still working jobs and making the kind of money i could have at 20. I hadnt gotten anywhere financially, and i had no real security. I made an effort to focus on my job, at least more than i did in the past, and it finally got me somewhere. At least a bit.

The downside is now i realise how much i depend on my job and the income and i hate it. I hate this weight hovering over me....