New Year's Crush

i am that breath of wind
at the back of your neck
only when you turn
im not there

i am that knock at the door
that gets you out of bed
only when you come
im not there

i am the envelope
addressed to you in red ink
only when you opened it
it was empty

you may think that you are imagining me
the specter that haunts your memory
unlovely, unknown

and you may wish that it would fade in time
or leave you intact without
unnatural desire

so put down the paper
the cap on the pen
put out your light and try to rest
ill be here
waiting on your doorstep
ill be at the window as you sleep
a deeper shade in the dark under the trees
the ache that leaves you shaking

ill be waiting for your weakened will
when your hands shaking and need a thrill
as if you never left me