Communication (N. Persson)

for 29 years I've been trying
to believe and confide in
different people I found

some of them got closer than others
and some wouldn't even bother
and then you came around

I didn't really know what to call you
you didn't know me at all
but I was happy to explain

I never really knew how to move you
so I tried to intrude through
the little holes in your veins
and I saw you

but that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you, but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect

you always seem to know where to find me
and I'm still here behind you
in the corner of your eye

I'll never really learn how to love you
but I know that I love you
through the hole in the sky
where I see you

and that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect

well, this is an invitation!
it's not a threat
if you want communication
that's what you get
I'm talking and talking
but I don't know

how to connect

and I hold
a record for being patient
with your kind of hesitation

I need you, you want me
but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect
I disconnect

On the Cusp of 30

How freaky is that?! I turn 30 in a few days and it's very odd to me. Could be that most of my friends are younger and already married, or married with kids. Could be that i still don't really feel like much of an adult sometimes. Whatever it is, it's not something im swallowing easily.

Im not sure how i feel about it, but there is a party this friday. All invited.

I'm Your Man

If anyone gets a chance to see the new documentary/concert film "Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man", i recommend going to check it out. I got to see it this week and it was excellent. The concert footage of people like Antony and Rufus Wainwright singing Cohen songs is great, but the real joy of the movie is hearing Cohen in his own words.

The ending song of Cohen himself singing "Tower of Song" with U2 as his backing band isn't too shabby either =)

What better thing to do while washing clothes?

Artist: Laundry Mix 1.2
Title: Laundry Mix 1.2
==========================================
01 - AFI - Prelude 12/21
02 - Anathallo - Dokkoise House (With Face Covered)
03 - Leonard Cohen - Waiting for the Miracle
04 - The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
05 - The Twilight Singers - Toward the Waves
06 - The Twilight Singers - I'm Ready
07 - Jimmy Eat World - Half Right
08 - Sixpence None The Richer / Love Is Blindness
09 - The Afghan Whigs - Sweet Son Of A Bitch
10 - The Afghan Whigs - 66
11 - David Bazan - Fewer Broken Pieces (Cake And Eat It, Too)
12 - Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
13 - The Twilight Singers - There's Been an Accident
14 - Anathallo - Hoodwink
15 - Jeff Martin - The Kingdom
16 - Jimmy Eat World - Disintegration
17 - Leonard Cohen - Anthem
18 - Jason Molina - Get Out Get Out Get Out

Marriage

So lately I've been thinking a lot about marriage. When i was younger (20-23ish) i was all about getting married. Thought of it often, and always thought of it as something that would happen *eventually*, but it was always going to happen.

These days im not so sure. Sometimes i think i have just grown past that desire and im content to never get married. Is that freakish? I was always unsure about having kids, but thought with right woman it would make sense. Now even marriage itself is in doubt.

Maybe im just jaded by seeing less than stellar marriages around. Don't get me wrong, my closest friends have amazing, secure, stable marriages.... but they are the minority sadly.

Am i crazy?

Emerald Stardust 1.7

Burn

Love is like a tyranny.
And I'm a tyrant sentencing.
You said that you believed in me
and would burn for your beliefs.

I watched you burn,
burn for me.
I watched you burn,
burn for me.

Love's some kind of sorcery,
an inquisition's questioning.
You said that you believed in me
and to take you on some time.
You said that you believed in me
and would burn for your beliefs.

I watched you burn.
I watched you burn for me.
I watched you burn,
burn for me.

But now I wonder how
I stood by and I let you down.
But maybe I couldn't see
that you would burn for me.
You were strong and clever
and I didn't know any better.

I could have set you free
but I watched you burn.
I could have set you free
but I watched you burn.
Yeah, I could have set you free
but I watched you burn.