Happy Birthday...

... but i don't want to think about you anymore. Leave me, please.

What a beautiful moment
The truth comes out at last
Once your heart would own me forever
Then this passed
And what a beautiful moment
As my heard comes apart
Drunk and in a manner of saying, wasted

'Cause you don't love me
You don't love me
You can't see how I matter in this world
Even though I loved you
You can't believe that
If you find something
You think might make you happy
Then I guess it's okay, I think it's okay
If you go away

Blown right out of my senses
I did not know what to do
Lost and badly wanting someone
To see me through
That's why I needed you

But you don't love me, you don't love me
You can't see how I matter in this world
Even though I loved you
You can't believe that
You think that leaving
Is what will make you happy
Then I guess it's okay, I think it's okay
If you go away

'Cause you don't love me
You don't love me
You can't see how I matter in this world
Even though I loved you
You can't believe that
You think that leaving
Is what will make you happy
Then I guess it's okay, I think it's okay
If you go away
'Cause you don't love me
You don't love me...

My U2 Concert History

Since Ive been to 14 U2 shows, i thought i would reflect back on how many shows I have seen of each tour, and how many times in those 14 shows I've seen each song played.

Zoo TV - One Show
PopMart -Two Shows
Elevation - Seven Shows
Vertigo - Two Shows
360 - Two Shows (So far, the rumor is more North American shows in 2010)

The Songs:

All 14 Shows:

Where The Streets Have No Name
One

12 Times:

Until The End of The World
Bullet The Blue Sky
Pride

11 Times:

Sunday Bloody Sunday
Beautiful Day
Elevation

10 Times:

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
With or Without You

9 Times:

Stuck In A Moment
Walk On

8 Times:

I Will Follow
Mysterious Ways

7 Times:

Kite
New York

6 Times:

New Year's Day
Angel Of Harlem
Bad

5 Times:

Stay (Faraway, So Close)
The Fly
Even Better Than The Real Thing
Gone

4 Times:

Please
What's Going On
City of Blinding Lights
Vertigo

3 Times:

All I Want Is You
Desire
Staring At The Sun
Discotheque
Peace On Earth

2 Times:

Mofo
Last Night On Earth
If God Will Send His Angels
If You Wear That Velvet Dress
Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me
In A Little While
Out Of Control
The Ocean
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Love and Peace or Else
Miss Sarajevo
Yahweh
40
Breathe
No Line On The Horizon
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Unknown Caller
The Unforgettable Fire
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
MLK
Ultraviolet
Moment of Surrender
Miami

Songs I've Only Seen Once out of 14 Shows:

Zoo Station
Whiskey In The Jar
Trying To Throw Your Arms Around The World
When Love Comes to Town
Satellite of Love
Running to Stand Still
Love is Blindness
Can't Help Falling in Love
Sweet Caroline
New York New York
I Remember You
People Get Ready
The Elctric Co
Miracle Drug
All Because Of You
Fast Cars
Gloria
Original of The Species
Instant Karma
Your Blue Room

U2 - Toronto 360 Shows

I was lucky enough to see U2 twice last week in Toronto, making them my 13th and 14th U2 shows of all time. How blessed am i get to see a band this good so many times? The new tour is excellent visually. Set lists are average at best (most nights), but I'm partial to 90's U2 which is strangely the least represented area in most night's setlists.

Still excellent though.

Highlights of night one were seeing "Your Blue Room" played for only the 2nd time ever, "Until The End of The World" (my favorite song of all time my any artist, a staple on most U2 tours, but a rarity on this one), and Stay.

First night had the better setlist, but i was in the nosebleeds (still good on this tour). 2nd night removed a bunch of good songs (Until The End of The World, Stay, and Your Blue Room) and replaced them with average ones (New Year's Day, Stuck in A Moment, and Mysterious Ways. Ok, Mysterious Ways isnt average), but being on the field was excellent regardless of song choices.

Full Setlists and pictures follow....

Night One:

1. Breathe
2. No Line On The Horizon
3. Get On Your Boots
4. Magnificent
5. Beautiful Day / Alison (snippet)
6. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
7. Elevation
8. Your Blue Room
9. Unknown Caller
10. Until The End Of The World
11. Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
12. The Unforgettable Fire
13. City Of Blinding Lights
14. Vertigo / Pump It Up (snippet)
15. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough (snippet)
16. Sunday Bloody Sunday / Oliver's Army (snippet)
17. MLK
18. Walk On
19. One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
20. Where The Streets Have No Name

encore(s):
21. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
22. With Or Without You
23. Moment of Surrender

Night Two:

1. Breathe
2. No Line On The Horizon
3. Get On Your Boots
4. Magnificent
5. Mysterious Ways / Norwegian Wood (snippet)
6. Beautiful Day / The Maker (snippet)
7. Elevation
8. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For / Movin' On Up (snippet)
9. Unknown Caller
10. New Year's Day
11. Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
12. The Unforgettable Fire
13. City Of Blinding Lights
14. Vertigo
15. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / Two Tribes (snippet)
16. Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet)
17. MLK
18. Walk On
19. One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
20. Where The Streets Have No Name

encore(s):
21. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
22. With Or Without You
23. Moment of Surrender

Tonight...

A Little More

I say goodbye to you every day
Each day i mean it a little more
Don't you know you were everything to me?
I know, i know
Each day i realize a little more
I was never everything to you
Just another in the long line
The walking wounded all over the Queen City
Wondering and remembering
Trying to figure out where they went wrong
What was i thinking when we said hello?
Did i know with my hands on your belly
Did i know this would be my fate?
It's too late now
To wonder if i should have fought
I know it would have been for naught
But men are taught to fight fight fight
Now i need to let you go
More than put your things in boxes
More than talk the talk with my friends
To close your door in my heart
To tell you no when you ask me back in my dreams
To say yes when someone in the waking hours asks me to take a chance
The last goodbye takes a long time
Walk this road with me one more time
Let me let go of your hand
Let me drop this flower
Let me remember you with a smile, and not these tears

A Broken Heart Seeks Its Own Continued Demise

It's been a rough week for me, and it's mostly my fault. Heartbreak has bitten a little deeper this week than in weeks past, and yesterday i did something silly. Thankfully it was something i did while i was alone (No surprise visits to exes or anything), but it was still a bad idea. Sometimes when the person you want to be with most is the person you have the least interaction with, you choose the worst things to look at, just to feel, even for a moment, like you are still a part of their life. Sad, i know.

But what is done is done. All i can do now i learn from it, and hope that in the long run, my slight reopening of my emotional wound will accelerate my healing. I know I'll heal eventually. Right?

The week looks interesting. Hopefully some socializing that doesn't involve co-workers, family, or my best friend. Not that i don't enjoy all of them, but I'd like something a little more interesting this week. We'll see what happens...

The Things We Do For Love

I brought you lemonade
I turned off the evil light
But made sure your kitchen guardian shined
That was how i loved you

I rubbed your back after it was turned on me
Made it so you could fall asleep smiling
Kept your feet from icy fates
That was how i loved you

When i put that medicine in your fridge
I know you felt violated
Your personal space sacrificed
That was how i loved you

Mary said we would wed
I was just happy next to you
Me with your camera, you in that Jeep
That was how i loved you

When i went to see old blue eyes
Just to see your friend
And meet your boss
That was how i loved you

I listened to your voice
And adored the sparkle in your eyes
When you spoke about the dead
That was how i loved you

I folded you those napkins
And made you reach for tissues
I bought you Kleenex and milk
That was how i loved you

I turned down my music
I ignored the cold war kids
I let my little one fend for herself
That was how i loved you

I knew that you could do it
Anything you wanted
You loved and hated my encouragement
That was how i loved you

I tried to take away your coldies
Gave you all the rubbies i could
Trying to be as cuties as possible
That was how i loved you.

I gave you all i had left
I knew you were the one
It's yours now, i don't know how to get it back
That was how i loved you

Now i am alone
My heart remembers helplessly
Yours feels nothing anymore
And i sit, my memories a prison

No ring on your phone
No knock on your door
No reminders to you of soul stamping kisses
This is how i love you.

I always will.

Keep on Keeping on

My arborist has encouraged me to continue dating, even though having 3 dates last week seemed to have a negative effect on me rather than a positive. I'll try and sneak in a casual first date before the long weekend is over, and I'll even do it on this side of the border.

Again, wish me luck...

I suppose it could be that I'm really not ready to be dating yet, as much as I'm loathing being alone?

10 Essential Songs on my 33rd Birthday

Since I'm turning 33 today, i thought i would make a collection of 10 songs that i couldn't imagine living without. These aren't my 10 favorite songs of all time or anything, just a musical snapshot of myself on my birthday. I don't like receiving gifts, but i like giving them. Hopefully, if you take the time to read and listen to some of the songs, you'll find one that becomes essential to you as well. I couldn't imagine a better gift.

1. Josh Ritter - The Temptation of Adam: This is pretty much my favorite song right now. I listen to it all the time. Josh has a way with words that consistently enthralls me. All of his stuff is stellar, but this song holds an extra special in my heart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvCeCVmJAUA

2. Over The Rhine - Latter Days: I'm not known for my enjoyment of happy songs, i tend to gravitate toward melancholy, at least musically. One of the most beautiful songs ever written, sung by one of the most beautiful voices ever. I have more live versions of this song than i can count, but it never feels like enough. Sometimes this song gets me a little teary. I'm man enough to admit that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftnjUpoCHAg

3. Okkervil River - Lost Coastlines: If you have seen my last.fm page you know how much i listen to Okkervil River. I never tire of this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ge-Cz1xCGU

4. Metric - Hustle Rose: I go to a *lot* of concerts, but I'm not much of dancer. I'm a toe tapper, and even a swayer sometimes, but dancing is incredibly rare. When i saw this song live i *had* to dance. I don't know how you could not. If Emily Haines wants to have dinner with me, i would be ok with that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LttiMHBpv28

5. Neko Case - This Tornado Loves You: What could be better than a song about a tornado ravenously searching for it's lover? Not much. =) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FhVbyeWFvo

6. Sigur Ros - Untitled #8 (Popplagið): One of the most amazing songs ever. I really want to go to Iceland. Like, this weekend. Anyone want to come with? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8jmLec_wEc

7. A Silver Mt Zion - Blindblindblind: This is only the 2nd half of this song, but it's a long song and the ending is musically earth shattering for me. There are very few bands who make me feel as blessed to be alive as Silver Mt Zion does when I'm lucky enough to be in the same room as them when they are making music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH4pnlS230A

8. Explosions in The Sky - Memorial: I know instrumental music isn't for everyone, but some of the songs that meet me most deeply are those without lyrics. This is one of those songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twsHr554PPI

9. Wilco - Jesus, Etc: Everyone should go see Wilco. They might be the best American live rock band playing right now. Our love is all of God's money indeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dhBrpV78BE

10. Magnolia Electric Co - Riding With the Ghost: "I've been riding with the ghost, I've been doing whatever he told me. I've been looking door to door to see if there was someone who'd hold me. Never met a single one who didn't see through me, none of them would love me if they thought they might lose me." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt3f9FH4bgY